I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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