ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
