areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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