never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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