I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
