thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Found the puke drawer
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
