Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
