I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize