Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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