I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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