Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
