'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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