dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize