I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
