Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
