Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
