let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I came so hard my ears popped.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
