But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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