I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
