you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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