fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize