Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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