I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We are two peas in an std pod
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
