she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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