I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
