He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
