when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Redeem this text for a blowjob
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize