I bet he comes in French.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
