I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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