im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
