and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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