Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I party with great urgency now.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
