I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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