I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
