The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
