Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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