Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
