So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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