We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
