some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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