I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize