When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
