i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize