You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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