got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
