therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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