you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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