So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I love having hate sex.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
