I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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