If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
