Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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