Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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