But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Non-Jews are for practice
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
