sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
