No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
