then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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