I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Randomize
